Mama Steph

mama steph is the greatest mom who has ever been a mama. I am so lucky and so incredibly fortunate to have a mom like her. She totally gets me, she knows who i am, loves me unconditionally, and she lets me be me. My mom is my best friend, i can tell her anything and everything, and she doesn't judge me. She has taught me so much about myself, about life, about God, and about family, and most importantly she has shown me unconditional love. Not everyone is fortunate to have such an awesome mom, to know their mom, or their mom is no longer here, and i really feel for those people because without my amazing mom i wouldn't be the person i am today. She allows me to make mistakes and she allows me to fix them. she doesn't jump to conclusions, and she is so understanding. She hasn't always been this way, but the fact that she is like this now makes me better. You need your mom when you are a little kid, but when you grow up you realize you reaaally need your mama. The older she becomes, and the older i get, the more we both grow, and our relationship grows. I was watching a home video of the day i was born, and just to watch my mom be a mama to me and my brother was beautiful. she was so patient, and kind. and whenever she spoke to us she was full of love, joy, and happiness. The fact that i have her as a role model, i know i will make a good momma some day <3 

Dysfunctional Family

Family consists of: parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents, and everyone has some form of crazies. But mine, i seriously think tops the charts.. Have you ever had a grandmother tell you she can't have a relationship with you as long as you have one with your mother? Then when she asks why you don't talk to her anymore, and you tell her that she gave you a choice, she denies that she ever said it? Well, I do.. The day after my high school graduation we had a "family talk" which consisted of me, my father, and my grandmother. Which both of them deny she ever made me make a choice, but i remember it clear as day, in fact i hardly remember my graduation because of this crazy. I'm not one who opens up, or talks about my problems openly, but i guess that's the idea of this blog. My family is really only dysfunctional on my dad's side of the family.. I mean granted we have had some really dramatic moments on my mom's side, but nothing compares to this. And this isn't even one of the worst things she has done. A rough past shouldn't equal a difficult future. Why do people lie? What makes them think if they tell one lie that's all they tell? you have to cover up your first lie with more lies. I guess people feed off of this, but I am so thankful that my Savior Jesus Christ is in my life, and that I can forgive, but i can never forget. Just because i forgive her for making me choose (which honestly wasn't a hard decision, my mom is the best) doesn't mean i can forget what she has done, and what she is continuing to do in her day to day life. What really gets me is that my brother tries to be the peace maker. He always asks me when the last time i've talked to her, and invites me to go swimming at her house. Just because they are all brainwashed by her, and controlled by her money doesn't mean everyone is. People have this idea in their mind what life should be like, but everyone has their own view on life, and what makes them happy. Without her being in my life and trying to control me, has brought me more happiness thank i can explain. It has also brought me closer to my mother, and my mother's side of the family. Without them i wouldn't be where i am today. And i am so thankful for my Savior to give me a family who loves unconditionally and has brought me closer to Him each and everyday. With one dysfunctional family, there is one who is completely for you :)

Song writing. Guitar Playing

My newest hobby that i am absolutely in love with. Now i know why so many people do it. Writing your feelings about life, and boys and then putting it into a song and playing it, such an awesome feeling! I am totally in love with this. I've never been much of a writer (which is prob why i'm not to keen on this blog stuff) at all. But sometimes you can't help but put it into a song and make it something that means more to you than just feelings. It becomes even more real and a tune. I love learning songs from artists like kellie pickler, miranda lambert, blake shelton, jana kramer! And i def do not have the best singing voice but seriously WHO CARES!? its pretty much awesome!



anyways, i'll keep trying this blogging thing and see if i can eventually get the hang of it :)

Blog Much?

Woah, so it's been such a long time since i have even thought about using a blog, i mean fooorever. What do people write about? Their lives? Their families? Their hobbies and interests? This is crazy, I'm just myself, and just because I like something doesn't mean anyone else will like it right? So what is the point of a blog? I guess my opinion of a blog is just to write how i feel, what's new, and what's going on in my life, kind of like an online diary? Guess we will see how long i like doing this, if i ever get the hang of this thing! :)